In Thanks-Giving: Day 5

Day 5: Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Time and All Eternity

6 months.  Tuesday made 6 months to the day since my Jason jumped into our beloved falls, never to return.  It was a normal camping trip, the first one of the season, Memorial Day weekend.  One year before, we were at the exact same falls, launching our camping season with some friends.  This year Jason and I opted to make the trip alone.  We had just decided to grow our little family.

Growing up as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I was always taught to strive for a temple marriage, a marriage in which husband and wife are not married for just time, but also for all eternity.  How magical it all sounds to a little girl growing up with dreams of forever with her night in shining armor.  Although it has always sounded magical and always been my goal, it is what we hear over and over growing up, and so as an adult, I knew it was important, but could never truly wrap my mind around what it all meant. 

It makes sense now.

When your husband is alive beside you, next to you as you wake up in the morning, cooking and cleaning with you in the evening, and snuggled back beside you at night, it is hard to grasp the necessity of eternity.  I have him now, and even though later is important, it can't be as important as the here and now.  I've had 6 months to ponder what being married is all about.  6 months reflecting on why Jason and I got married and what the purpose of marriage really is.  6 months to fume over the time I let slip by.  6 months to let the concept of eternity sink in.

I'm going to tell you a little about what I've discovered.  Some of it deals directly with God, some of it in a more round about way, but the first thing I need you to understand is that, for me, marriage is directly linked to God.  Genesis 1:27 states, "So God created man in his own ^aimage, in the image of God created he him; male and ^bfemale created he them." Just as God created us in His image, He gave us a like-minded purpose to come to earth, receive mortal bodies, and learn and grow.  Just as God is literally the Father of our spirits, he allows us to be mothers and fathers of his spirit children.  We are here to learn how to be like God.  Remember the crazy fad of "WWJD?" bracelets reminding us to be more Christ-life as we consider "What Would Jesus Do?" in the situations arising in our lives?  That is part of the reason we are here.

When two people unite in marriage, they are making a commitment to one another.  There are lots of pretty, fun, flowery things a preacher, pastor, or even justice of the peace might say when two people are united, and that is great, and there is a deeper purpose.  We must learn how to work together, how to literally become one in our principles, desires, and ideals.  No, that doesn't mean you can't have different interests than your spouse, but how much more of a successful marriage will you have if you take the time to understand a little more about your spouse's interests and encourage him/ her in the development of a new talent.  Marriage is meant to help us learn how to be "one."

Jason and I got married so we could be together, not just literally next to each other, but so that we could begin to become one, to work together, to share together.  I know "girls/ boys weekends" are fun, and I am not judging any of you or the quality of your marriage with this statement; Jason and I didn't want to have those weekends.  We still did them, but in the end, we wanted to be together.  We got married so we would have "that person," the one you tell your deepest, darkest secrets, the one that helps you hatch crazy-wild plans, the one who brings out the best in you, the one who makes you who you are.  Not just a best friend, a SPOUSE.  I'm not sure at what point these became separate things, but don't we often here, my spouse is my best friend." Well, duh!  If your spouse isn't your best friend, you're missing out. 

So how is a sealing different from a marriage?  When two people get married, they are making a commitment to one another; when two people get sealed, they add God to the mix.  A sealing is a covenant with you, your spouse, and God. God is literally the "missing link."  With God as part of our marriage, it means we don't stop learning and growing together as one even though Jason has passed from this life because God can link us beyond the grave.  It means that every step I make in the right direction is a victory for both of us, not just for me.  Don't worry, we aren't automatically just stuck together because we are sealed, it is still our choice, and that is what is so amazing: I know that Jason is striving to learn and grow in ways that will strengthen us, both as spouses, and as future parents. {Yes, I believe that one day, after the Savior's return, when we are reunited with our loved ones, that Jason and I will still have the opportunity to raise our children.}

It didn't make sense before, but now I understand that Jason and are one; if you have ever seen a weld, think about that image, the two pieces of metal, joined as one.  That is what Jason and I have, we have sealing; we have a weld.  I am grateful for my weld!

April 16, 2011
Our Welding..I mean, Wedding Day